The Eurovision Song Contest is a tantalising two months’ away and I know, I am feeling exactly the same as you; it is simply too long to wait and what the hell are we going to do in the meantime?
With most countries holding competitions to find their rep for EV2013, the United Kingdom was one of the last to announce their singer. The BBC (or whoever decided these things) kindly spared the public to the pointless rigged-phone-vote-fest by simply deciding on the entrant themselves. With rumours abound that it could be John Barrowman or even the Pet Shop Boys (eh?), it was announced the other day by Mr. Eurovision himself Graham Norten that the voluminously-quiffed, huskily-tuned Welshie Bonnie Tyler will be singing Believe in Me. The song and the video (reminiscent of the first three minutes of a Nineties Channel Five soft-core porn film) are already available to be beheld, but I wouldn’t waste your time because a) you’ll hear it on 18 May and b) it’s a complete facepalm of an entry.
Nevertheless, it’s great to see Tyler back; and I am sure she will give it her all. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a remix of her seminal Total Eclipse of the Heart, murdered here by Nicki French; the same Nicki French who is commonly associated with kicking off the United Kingdom’s run of poor form at Eurovision, when the amusingly-titled Don’t Play That Song Again placed 16th in 2000, the lowest ever for a UK entry at the time.
Bring on Malmö!